Monday, December 12, 2011
My Beautiful, GOOD, Kids!
I am my kids' biggest fan. I think they are awesome, smart, funny, and practically perfect. If I even perceive a slight against either of them, even if it is deserved, I will defend them. I don't kid myself that they will always do the right thing, they haven't deceived or brainwashed me, but they know that anything they do wrong will be discussed, worked out, and forgiven.
Things haven't always been this way for us. I've had some learning to do about parenting. I have NOT always done everything perfectly, and I'm under no assumption that the way I parent my teens now is perfect, either! It's just the way I do it. I've learned that the world is tough enough, home should be easy.
I used to parent differently. My son, when he was younger, was what you might call a bad kid. I would apologize for him constantly. I wanted to make sure people knew that I knew he was acting up, 'being bad', and that I was dealing with it because I wanted them to think I was a good parent. My son grew quite a reputation for being a bad kid, and I was the poor, pitiful mom who had to deal with him.
I remember the day I made a conscious decision NOT to berate my son to other people and not to punish him in public. I stopped wondering why he was so BAD, and decided that he was actually a GOOD kid. And then I decided to stop caring about what others thought of me as a parent. Those two decisions made all the difference. Was he actually such a terror as I remember? I don't know, because when I decided he was good, the bad faded considerably.
Ask me about my son now, and I'll tell you how funny, smart, and fabulous he is. And then I'll tell you how talented, clever, and compassionate my daughter is. And then I'll make you really sick by telling you how practically perfect they BOTH are.
Do some other moms think it's annoying that I think my kids are wonderful and can do no wrong? Yep, they do. Do I think it's annoying that they DON'T think the same about their own kids? Yep, I do.
The world will try to bring your kids down. Magazines might tell your daughters they aren't beautiful. Teachers might tell your sons they aren't smart. Television will almost always tell your children they are dorks. 'Friends' sometimes tell them they are losers or spread gossip about them. Even churches sometimes tell our kids that they aren't good enough.
It's hard being a kid, a kid of any age. And it's hard being that kid's mom when life is beating the kid down. I want to be sanctuary for my kids, a safe haven. I don't always measure up, but I try, because they are #1 to me, and they are beautiful.
Photo credits: Faith Perry
Posted by Ruth Ronk at 11:45 AM