Beautiful Birth Story

  Get your tissues out, because if you love a good birth story, this one will get you.  This story is chock-full of some of our favorite Beautiful Girls.  Kim, the gorgeous, funny, amazing woman who has been eagerly anticipating the birth of her second child.  Courtney, the vivacious, multi-talented, clever Vanderbilt student, studying to be a midwife on the mission field.  And Eden, our newest, littlest, miraculous beauty whose very existence made this story possible.  


  Courtney, at Kim's prompting, wrote this letter to baby Eden, after she was able to settle in and ponder a most miraculous night.  Sitting down?  Got your tissues?  Here we go.....

   Eden Vanessa- your name is as beautiful as you are.  And how you came into this world was pretty incredible, just like you.  It all started when your mommy and I said how cool it would be if I could catch you when she went to the hospital.  She wanted to have you all by herself, so we were going to stay at home as long as we could. Funny thing is, you had your own plans. Or I should say, God had His own plans.  You see, He gave me one week off, which happened to be the week that you were due.   But it didn’t seem like you were going to be ready to come out anytime soon. That is, until the exact hour I crossed over into Lynchburg.  Your mom sent me a message to let me know that she felt you stirring things up.  I went to bed Sunday night thinking that I was going to get to meet you late Monday night or early Tuesday morning.  Four hours later, I got a phone call from your mom telling me that her contractions were regular, but really short.  I still wasn’t convinced that you were ready.  But at three o’clock, we decided it would be a good idea to check on your progress and then we could all go to bed while we waited for you to make up your mind.  So I took my time packing my things for what I thought would be a long wait…little did I know that between 0300 and 0340 you would become tired of your little room. So tired that you decided to burst your own bubble to let us know that you meant business.  And that is how I found things when I arrived at your doorstep on a freezing February morning- an excited dad, an eager baby, and one incredible momma. As soon as I walked in, I knew you were ready to see your parents, and when I checked, my suspicions were confirmed.  Your dad went and started the car while I took your mom into her room to help get her ready to go. But as soon as we got to her room, we realized that we were being silly.  The hospital was no longer an option- we had to choose between the house and the car.  We opted for the stationary, warm house :) 

          Did I mention your mom was amazing? Well she was. And your dad was so amazing that he had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and granola bars packed for the hospital by the time I got there.  But like I said- you were ready, whether we were or not.  Since we couldn’t go anywhere, we decided to call in the EMS for backup. About this time, as I was watching your little head try to poke out, your mom decided to ask me if I was okay with letting you come out at home. Would it have mattered if I wasn’t?? I couldn’t tell her “no” then- but I knew that your brother had been so big that he had to be helped out.  I didn’t think you were as big as he was, but all I could do was pray for the Lord to use my hands and to bring you out as miraculously as He created you.  Well, pray and go over ways in my mind to get you out if you did happen to get stuck.  It was more comfortable for your mom if you came out while she was on her hands and knees- however, this was foreign to the EMS team. As they walked in the room, they asked me what we were doing.  Umm…playing checkers?  What did it look like we were doing?  Before I knew it, I was coaching your mom to help you come out slowly so she didn’t get as hurt as she did the last time.  She did great!! And the next thing I knew, your perfect head was in my hands and I was easing your shoulders out, bringing your little self into my arms.  I got to be the first to know and to announce to the world that you were a girl!  Did you know that you were the pinkest baby I have ever caught?? And that you opened your eyes and stared at me right before letting out the most heartwarming cry that I had ever heard? Handing you to your mom was the most surreal thing I have ever done…did that all really just happen?  As I write this one day later, I still don’t believe it. Our God is quite incredible.

           Writing your story is taking me longer than it took you to be born :) In fact, your dad asked me if that was it- it took your brother over 30 hours to come out.  The funny part is, we didn’t have anything ready to welcome you into the world, save some gloves. Your daddy had to go find me some bath towels to wrap you up and the EMS had to go find some clamps for us.  You got all the nutrition from your little food bank, and then your daddy cut your cord. With a scalpel. Do ambulances not have scissors? Then again, a man pulled it out of a bag- and why not choose the sharpest, pointiest, shiniest object you can find? But there you were- cradled in your mother’s arms with your dad staring at your beautiful face, and the EMS still not sure what really just happened. To be honest, I wasn’t so sure either.  And while we didn’t have any medicines on hand in case there was too much bleeding, you took care of that by being the world’s quickest and most amazing breast-feeder I have ever seen.  All I could do was laugh. The Creator of the universe still holds even the tiniest of us all in the palm of His loving hand.

          The rest is history. We took our time enjoying you, your dad held you for the first time, I helped your mom shower, the EMS helped your mom to the car (which was still running in the driveway…whoops- at least it was warm), they left, and your daddy carried you out to the car bundled up in towels.  You and your mom got checked in at the hospital, and everyone agreed with what we already knew-you were perfect.  After you were all settled in, I left on adrenaline. I used it to go back and clean- all I could do was laugh and sing His praise in total amazement...the only song running through my head had the lyrics "God is bigger than the air I breathe, the world we'll leave. And God will save the day, and all will say, My Glorious".  Did I mention that I still couldn’t believe you were born at home?

             I finally made it back to my bed in total exhaustion, but before I could sleep I wanted to read something to give Him thanks before I slipped into unconsciousness. So I opened His word to Psalm and happened to land at Psalm 138- “I will give You thanks with all my heart…I will bow down toward Your holy temple and give thanks to Your name for Your loving-kindness and Your truth: For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name. On the day I called You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul…the Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Your loving-kindness, O Lord, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.”  Oh how this sung the very words on my heart! All of this right before the chapter that tells you how you were created. “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. For my frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were written all the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.” 

                He created you for something so special, little Eden. I am already praying for you- that you will come to know this amazing Lord as your Savior at a young age. That you will realize just how much He loves you- so much that He died for you and then rose again from the dead so that you can walk through this life holding the hand that intricately formed every part of you.  Seek Him and Him only and you will never lose your way in this world. And you will spend forever in the presence of the God who has never and will never stop thinking about you.  That is how special you are.  And I love you.

                                               The privileged hands that held you first-

                                                                                     Your midwife,

                                                                                        Courtney

Beautiful Baker

   A few years ago, Cindi and I decided it would be fun to learn to decorate cakes.  At the time, our friend Wendy was a Wilton representative/teacher at Michael's.  So we took the class and learned the stuff and had our fun, and then we started making cakes for our kids and for baby showers and wedding showers.  We don't charge money to our friends, because we never know how the cake will turn out and we want free reign over the design!

  Then we did it.  We offered to make a wedding cake for a dear, beautiful girlfriend.  What were we thinking?  We made fondant and pretty leaves and bought a tiered stand.  It turned out fine, but as we finally set it on the cake table and stepped away, I turned to Cindi and said, "I will never do this again."  

  Then another dear, beautiful girlfriend of ours got engaged, and asked us to make her cake.  We lovingly made each miniature sunflower, hundreds of them, out of fondant.  I set them on my table to dry overnight.  The next morning there were tiny ants all over them.  I cried, threw them away, and we lovingly made hundreds more miniature sunflowers, and when we set the finished cake on the table I turned to Cindi and said, "I will never do this again."  

(that's Tanner 'helping' me in the picture, not Cindi! haha!)

  A couple of months ago, Cindi and I both received bouquets of roses to our doors....from a dear, beautiful girlfriend who has recently gotten engaged.  She wants her cake to be square and covered in fondant.  In a few weeks I'll be rolling out that sticky stuff and covering the holes with flowers and ribbon and maybe I'll cry, and when we set it in the car to be delivered to the church I am sure I will turn to Cindi and say, "I will never do this again."  


   But I've decided, I can cry and complain and hate making cakes, or I can count my blessings.  Oh, how I love all the beautiful girls we have made cakes for!  We've shared in the celebrations of their lives, marriages and babies and engagements and birthdays!  How fortunate we are to be in the middle of that kind of event!  And the appreciation of these beauties when we 'unveil' their cakes...always grateful, always in awe, no matter what state the poor cake is in.  Our girlfriends are our biggest fans, and we are their's.  

  Also, the blessing of getting to spend time with my great friend while we are complaining and eating icing off our fingers and covering up mistakes and making awful-looking roses (me) and beautiful, perfect roses (her), and even starting all over.  We laugh, we talk about what's going on in our lives, we just spend time together.  We're busy, cakes give us an excuse to take a break from life and just hang out together.  I don't love making cakes, but I love the women whose life events the cakes represent, and I love making cakes with my friend!  

  And how about the appreciation I now have for my friend Wendy?!  She's gone from cake decorating teacher at Michael's to full-time business owner cake extraordinaire!  

  Wendy owns Coffey Cakes, and she does all kinds of cakes, but I am most impressed with her wedding cakes.  Weddings are, hopefully, a one-time thing...and brides (and brides' mothers!) can be hard to deal with!  The cake has to be perfect for the perfect day, and THAT is pressure!  Wendy takes it in stride, though, because Wendy loves what she does!  She loves to meet the newly engaged couple and be around the energy and anticipation they bring to the planning, she loves seeing the look on the bride's face when she sees the finished product, and she especially loves spending the extra time with her husband...he helps her with some of her deliveries and is her right-hand-man!  

  Even though Wendy is no longer our teacher, she is still teaching us.  She gives us tips and encourages our work, even though we are nowhere near her level.  Wendy is a Beautiful Baker!


  

Beautiful Girls: Kickin' Tail and Takin' Names

    A friend of mine went to the movies recently, and saw a trailer for another movie.  I've been trying to find out the name of it all day, but when I finally got in touch with my friend and found out the name (Haywire), I realized it didn't much matter.  You know the movie.  Beautiful Girl is betrayed in some way, Beautiful Girl gets revenge by blowing things up, driving fast cars, and beating up mean boys...all while wearing tight outfits and looking amazing.  The end.  


  It brought up an old question for my friend, and she posted it to me.  Are movies like these a way for Hollywood to say to us "Women are strong and powerful only when they are strong and powerful in the same way men are (stereo-typically) strong and powerful."?  She wondered if movies like Haywire, Lara Croft, and Colombiana seek to blur the lines between genders, and even instill some confusion in young men about how they should treat women.  We tell our sons, "Never hit a girl."  Maybe we should add, "Well, unless she does something that makes you think she's about to throw you out of a window."  


  Is it all just a master plan to degrade men?  Women can bring home the bacon by killing the pig with a machine gun, and still pick up the kids from daycare.  Or save them from the Russian spies, or the edge of a volcano, or the French kidnappers.  All without smearing her red, red lipstick or bursting a seam on that snug leather catsuit.  Who needs a man?  


  My friend's husband says it isn't a big deal.  Lara isn't real, neither is Nikita.   He's content with the knowledge that his wife probably won't go vigilante on their daughter's mean ol' teacher, and he's fairly happy with the fact that she probably won't blow up some guy's car if her parking spot gets taken. He would, however, probably be ok with her wearing a snug leather catsuit, at least at home.   


  So my question to you is, what is feminine strength and power?  What are you teaching your daughter about what a strong woman looks like?  If we ever have an alien invasion, I'll wish for Sigourney Weaver's Officer Ripley by my side.  If I ever need to get back my stolen ancient artifacts from a tomb, I'll be the first to hire Lara Croft.  But for now, I prefer to look to REAL beautiful, strong women.  


  Oh, look, here's one now!

  Debbie is strong and powerful.  She's one of those friends that I don't see very often, but through the 'magic' of Facebook I draw inspiration from her. 


   Debbie is a pastor's wife, which takes a powerful patience. She's almost finished raising four amazing children, which takes a powerful perseverance. She's a teacher, which takes powerful compassion.  She's an adventurer, which takes a powerful courage and love of living.  She's a deployed soldier's mother, which takes a powerful faith.


 Debbie is a very Beautiful Girl.  But unlike those tough girls in the movies, she's not alone.  She has a partner in adventure, her husband, Bruce.  Bruce and Debbie go through it all together, and she makes sure his role in their marriage doesn't ever get degraded.  That makes Debbie even MORE beautiful.  


  In fact, I've changed my mind.  If we have an alien invasion or the zombies finally get themselves organized or my ancient artifacts get stolen, I'm going to call Debbie.  AND Bruce.  Maybe they'll even wear matching snug leather catsuits?  

Beautiful Top 10

  We've come to the end of a beautiful year, so let's take a look back at our top 10 beautiful girl posts of the year!  Compiled by view number.  


#10  Our girls got to spend a day at our favorite local salon, Sage Tryall Salon.  Suzy Tryall and her team are fabulous!  And by the way, the salon itself is getting a major makeover, so go check out the new improved Sage Tryall Salon in the new year!  You'll be happy you did!  


Read the original post here:  Beauty Shop 

#9 One of Aubrianah's favorite shoots was with one our absolute favorite groups of sisters.  These beautiful girls are all fabulous, gorgeous, funny, and kind...and they got it all from their beautiful mom.  I wrote this post a while ago, and I STILL want to be an honorary Roselle sister!  

Read the post here:  Beautiful Sisters 

#8 One of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, Cindi's grandmother, Mildred.  Take a minute to read, or read again, her beautiful testimony.


Original post here:  Beautiful Testimony

#7 This shoot is special to me and Aubrianah, because it connected us, I believe by the work of the Spirit, to a woman who continues to inspire us with the beauty she continues to cultivate as she learns to live her life and raise her boys after the sudden death of her husband.


Original Post:  Sharing Beauty

#6  My favorite whimsical woman, my friend Janine.  What we didn't tell you in the original post is that Janine was suffering from Bell's Palsey at the time of her shoot.  Just goes to show you that Real Beauty shines right through any 'flaw' we might see in the mirror!


Original post:  Whimsical Beauty

#5 This post was a two-for-one!  TWO courageous beauties fight through the daughter's illness while her mother keeps them both grounded, hopeful, peaceful, and brave.  


Original Post:  Courageous Beauty

#4 What kind of legacy are you leaving?  After reading this post about Faith's grandmother, Caroline, I made a commitment to think more about my actions and what my own children and grandchildren will remember about me.  Caroline was a beautiful woman whose legacy lives in her daughters and grand-daughters.


Original Post:  The Legacy of a Beautiful Girl

#3 Not technically a post at all, but a page on the blog gets the #3 spot.  It's the page that is all about our beautiful photographers, Faith and Aubrianah.  


Original Post:  About the Beautiful Photographers

#2 The post that made me feel like we really had something here...the goal was to inspire women to see that beauty is not about arched eyebrows and perfect hair, it's about strength and courage and what we do with the trials life throws at us.  The beautiful woman in this post has all that and more, PLUS she is a physically stunning beauty.  As far as the posts go on the main blog, this is the most-read entry...our beautiful friend, Becky, and the story of the freedom she found.


Original Post:  Beautiful Freedom

#1 Drum roll, please!  Our #1 post is also not technically a post, but a page.  It sums up our original goal for Just the Girls: Real Beauty as a summer project in 2011.  However, the movement has grown, women have been inspired to share their beautiful qualities, and our girls (and Cindi and me) have been blessed to be in the company of the women we've spent time with.  We hope to do more with Real Beauty in the future, and we want to interview YOU, Beautiful Girl!  You ARE beautiful, tell us what is most beautiful about you!  


Original Post:  About the Beautiful Project 

Beautiful Christmas 2011

  To Beautiful Girls everywhere, we wish you a Merry, Beautiful Christmas!  

Join the Fan Club, Beautiful Girl!

    I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed the other day, and I came across the following post, from one friend to another friend: 


 "Every mother likes to hear positive, encouraging things about their kids.  Thank you for taking the time to notice the good things my kids do and for sharing them with me."  


  That post was to my friend Laura, pictured above.  Can you spot her?  She doesn't like to have her picture taken, but she had taken a chunk of time out of her day to run around Campbell County with my daughter in order to help her with a photography project she was working on for the library.  


  Did you notice that the last two paragraphs I wrote about Laura were that she was supportive and encouraging to other people's children?  It struck me as I read that comment to Laura in my newsfeed that this was not the first time I'd read something like that, written to her.  Another friend of mine often thanks Laura for noticing the good things her kids do and sharing them with her, too. 


  For Laura, this is a trend.  I wrote yesterday about how I am a fan of my own children.  But they do have other fans.  Laura is one of them. 


 Mothers, especially mothers of  children who have a 'bad kid' reputation, only hear bad things about our kids.  We hear it when they disobey their Sunday School teachers.  We get called in for a conference when they don't do their classwork at school.  We hear about it if they hit or bite or don't share in the nursery or day care.  We are inundated with negativity.  


  I've gotten my share of negativity when it comes to my children.  So has Laura. Sometimes I get bitter about it.  Maybe, sometimes, she does, too.


 See, we both have these boys.  I have one and she has two, and they are boys who have been raised to be themselves and not worry too much about what others think of them.  All three of these boys think for themselves and do what they think is best.  I don't know if you have a boy like that, but Laura and I know that the kind of boys we have are the kind that make a mom earn her parenting badge.  They aren't followers, they aren't fakers, and they don't blindly obey their parents or authority figures.  They question, they argue, they make people mad, they decide for themselves.  A lot of prayer and faith foundation goes into raising a boy like that, but when it's done they are the best boys to have.  


  Laura is almost finished raising her boys, they are both grown, technically adults and almost men.  (They'll love me for that 'almost' haha!)  They are both great.  They are smart, resourceful,  and helpful.  She and her husband have done a great job.  But I know she faced a lot of negativity from other people during the raising.  She has decided not to do that to the children and mothers she comes into contact with.  


  Laura is a teacher, she teaches in regular school all week and Sunday school on the weekends.  Laura is with children a lot!  She sees their potential, she encourages them, she pushes them to do their best, and she sees the good in them.  Even the 'disrespectful' ones, even the 'disobedient' ones, even the (dare I say it?) 'BAD' ones !  Because Laura knows that children are NOT YET WHO THEY ARE GOING TO BE!  Everything that happens to them, everyone who comes into contact with them, every experience and circumstance and interaction is molding them, shaping them, helping them along the path of this hard life.  


  Oh, beautiful moms, I hope you have a Laura in your life...if you don't have THE Laura herself.  Because we need another person to see the good in our children, to join us in our children's fan club.  It is such an encouragement to any mom to have someone else join that club.  


  If you don't have a Laura, don't fret.  I don't know that Laura ever had a 'Laura' herself.  I don't know that she had anyone come alongside her and tell her how fabulous her boys were while she was raising them.  She still raised them, and they are still fabulous.  If you don't have a Laura, BE a Laura.  


Our Laura is an encouragement to us, she loves our children, and she is beautiful.  

My Beautiful, GOOD, Kids!

  I am my kids' biggest fan.  I think they are awesome, smart, funny, and practically perfect.  If I even perceive a slight against either of them, even if it is deserved, I will defend them.  I don't kid myself that they will always do the right thing, they haven't deceived or brainwashed me, but they know that anything they do wrong will be discussed, worked out, and forgiven. 


  Things haven't always been this way for us.  I've had some learning to do about parenting. I have NOT always done everything perfectly, and I'm under no assumption that the way I parent my teens now is perfect, either!  It's just the way I do it.  I've learned that the world is tough enough, home should be easy. 

  I used to parent differently.  My son, when he was younger, was what you might call a bad kid.  I would apologize for him constantly.  I wanted to make sure people knew that I knew he was acting up, 'being bad', and that I was dealing with it because I wanted them to think I was a good parent.  My son grew quite a reputation for being a bad kid, and I was the poor, pitiful mom who had to deal with him.


   I remember the day I made a conscious decision NOT to berate my son to other people and not to punish him in public.  I stopped wondering why he was so BAD, and decided that he was actually a GOOD kid.  And then I decided to stop caring about what others thought of me as a parent.  Those two decisions made all the difference.  Was he actually such a terror as I remember?  I don't know, because when I decided he was good, the bad faded considerably. 


 Ask me about my son now, and I'll tell you how funny, smart, and fabulous he is.  And then I'll tell you how talented, clever, and compassionate my daughter is.  And then I'll make you really sick by telling you how practically perfect they BOTH are.  

 Do some other moms think it's annoying that I think my kids are wonderful and can do no wrong?  Yep, they do.  Do I think it's annoying that they DON'T think the same about their own kids?  Yep, I do.




  The world will try to bring your kids down.  Magazines might tell your daughters they aren't beautiful.  Teachers might tell your sons they aren't smart.  Television will almost always tell your children they are dorks.  'Friends' sometimes tell them they are losers or spread gossip about them.  Even churches sometimes tell our kids that they aren't good enough.  


  It's hard being a kid, a kid of any age.  And it's hard being that kid's mom when life is beating the kid down.  I want to be sanctuary for my kids, a safe haven.  I don't always measure up, but I try, because they are #1 to me, and they are beautiful.  


Photo credits:  Faith Perry